Interspecies Gay Marriage


Interspecies Gay Marriage

Words By Rory Parker

It a bittersweet moment in any parent’s life, the day that their young one finds true love and leaves the nest to establish a family of his or her own.  On one hand, there’s the pride of knowing you raised a child who is strong enough to venture out into the world, able enough to take care of themselves.   On the other hand, there is the sorrow that comes with knowing that you will no longer be the star that shines brightest in the night sky of their life.  Still, as with the rest of my experience as a parent, any pain is far overshadowed by joy.

When my girlfriend and I first decided we wanted a child we knew that we could not go about it the traditional route.  After all, why bring another life into the world when there are so many who already exist and can use any love they can get.  As such we decided that adoption was the only option.

They say that the first time a father lays eyes on his child his heart melts.  I always thought that was bullshit, until I first saw the Lord Chauncey Von Fauntleroy.  With his pushed in face, and wet little nose, poking out of a backpack, he was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

From that moment forth we were one big happy family.  That’s not to say there weren’t problems.  Toilet training was problematic, and I’ve always been hard put keeping him from licking my face.  But, like I said before, it was all worth it.  Seeing my little man grow into an adult filled me with an ecstacy on par with holy rapture.

The problem with children is that one day they become individuals.  A father rarely notices the transition from fawning child to struggling adolescent, but once the metamorphosis has begun it can never be reversed.  I knew that Chauncey had turned out differently than hoped the day he first brought home Louie.  With his long white hair, pink bow and flitty demeanor I had him pegged immediately as a fruit.  Not that I have anything against them, outside of a mild distaste for their antics, but I found it a little odd that Chauncey should choose to surround himself with that ilk.  But, a father’s eyes are forever blinded by love, and it was months before I made the connection.

You see, I am the parent of a gay dog.   It was hard at first, with the incessant humping and panting going on at all hours.  But eventually I adapted, eventually growing to respect and cherish Chauncey more than ever for having the confidence and strength to live his life as he sees fit.  Of course, with all first loves, Chauncey and Louie’s relationship eventually reached its nadir, and the two of them split.  The first heartbreak is always the hardest, and his mother and I were there for him every moment.

Time passed, as it does for each and every one of us.  Chauncey  dated, never staying with one partner long, though I hear that’s often how gays live.  Then one day he met Huckleberry Finnigan, and all that came to an end.

Their relationship developed quickly, and it wasn’t long before wedding bells began ringing.  Of course, I mean that figuratively, as homosexual marriages are not legal in California, but their legislative standing was of no importance to the pair.  A small sunset ceremony on the beach, witnessed by their closest friends, united the pair.  I’m not too much of a man to admit that the sight moved me to tears.  True love is so hard to come by.

Call it what you want: fate, kismet, destiny.  Sometimes the one you need finds you out, and the course of your life stretches clear before you.  To have a loved one to take the journey with you: what more can one ask of life?

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