For this page I nearly went and recycled something I wrote like five years ago. It was an awesome little story about my first car. If I do say so myself, it was a really well written and entertaining piece. The story was about the trials and tribulations of dealing with the piece of shit breaking down and how I rebuilt it over the course of a summer in my front yard. But in the interest of keeping myself honest and living up to the promise to provide the most entertaining and refreshing shit we can come up with I ditched that idea. Kriegel, our esteemed art director, wants me to write more positive words on this page. He is constantly complaining that my writings are too negative. “Don’t write about how the magazine sucked the last issue, or how miserable you are, or how hard it is selling ads. Write about how much we love skateboarding. Write about how great the magazine is doing and how much our distribution is blowing up. ”. Well, shit. That crosses just about all the things I was going to write about right off my list. Let’s see, I was going to write about, how our editorial schedule is a joke, and how impossible it is for us to keep to it. Yeah, that sounds too negative and doesn’t make us look very good. I’ll have to scratch that one. I was also thinking about writing about all the skateboarding jocks that take themselves too seriously. Yeah, that’s just way too cynical. Well, I also had the idea to write about the new style of team managers who now take it upon themselves to raise young skateboarders to be pros and not individuals. These handlers are telling them how to dress, who to hang out with, and how to talk and it is making me very sad for skateboarding. This topic certainly won’t fly; way too disparaging. Well as the old saying goes if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. I hope you enjoy this issue.
Untitled Document
I’ve been interviewing mind numb Ams for so long that I have come to expect that they have absolutely nothing interesting to say at all. Do you know how hard it is to coax something worth reading out of a dude who answers questions like they had just been released from grips of a 10-month coma? Often I could get a more interesting interview from Terri Shivo before she had her feeding tube pulled. Oh, how the tables turned on me during this little exchange with Stereo Pro Clint Peterson. Clint was able to lead me around the words on this page like I was his little bitch on the end of a long leather leash. Quite refreshing, though I felt as if I was the one shrugging off a coma. I caught up with Clint while he was waiting to board a plane headed to LA from Tampa and ran my drill with him but got bitch slapped back to reality. Read More
It a bittersweet moment in any parent’s life, the day that their young one finds true love and leaves the nest to establish a family of his or her own. On one hand, there’s the pride of knowing you raised a child who is strong enough to venture out into the world, able enough to take care of themselves. On the other hand, there is the sorrow that comes with knowing that you will no longer be the star that shines brightest in the night sky of their life. Still, as with the rest of my experience as a parent, any pain is far overshadowed by joy. Read More
I USED TO DATE THIS SUPER HOT CHICK THAT I SOMEHOW CONVINCED TO LIKE ME. I DON’T KNOW WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IT WAS SHE SAW IN ME. PERHAPS SHE PITIED MY UNDEVELOPED PREPUBESCENT FEATURES. OR MAYBE SHE WAS ATTRACTED TO MY ABNORMALLY SMALL PENIS. WHATEVER THE CASE WAS, OUR RELATIONSHIP PERSISTED FOR A SOLID 7 MONTHS. SHE WAS A PHENOMENAL WOMAN WITH SHAPELY THIGHS, THIN ARMS AND AN ASS THAT WOULDN’T QUIT. WE WERE GOOD TOGETHER. THEN ONE DAY, THE SILLY GIRL WENT AND SHITCANNED ME FOR A VERY ETHNIC, EXTREMELY WELL BUILT LATINO MAN. I WON’T BORE YOU WITH SPECIFICS, BUT I SOON LEARNED THAT THIS MANS NAME WAS JUAN. HE PRACTICED TANTRIC SEX AND WAS HUNG LIKE A JAMAICAN. LORD KNOWS HOW I CRIED OVER THAT DAMN BROAD. BUT ALL THAT STUFF IS IN THE PAST NOW, AND HOPEFULLY SHE HAS SINCE CAUGHT A PARTICULARLY STRONG STD. Read More
For the past two years, I’ve battled a violent and horribly painful, physical affliction. This bastard of a sickness is commonly referred to as, kidney stones. Kidney Stones are basically tiny pellets of death that form in your kidney and then make their way towards your bladder. While traveling through your ureter, they cause your body a very distinct and unpleasant sensation. This feeling is comparable to being eaten alive by a pack of lions while simultaneously being doused in human shit. Since I kept getting these little faggot rocks, my doctor decided that the time had come to end this streak of unfathomable pain. In order to determine the cause of my kidney stones, my urologist prescribed a 48-hour urine test. This meant I had to piss into two large, orange jugs for 2 straight days. Read More
After listening to Propagandhi’s latest cd, Potemkin City Limits, I was pretty impressed. The riffs were sick, the songwriting was rad, the aggressive, radical attitude was there; it was pretty damn good. When the interview opportunity came up, I was on one hand stoked, but on the other hand I was a little wary… I mean, what did I have to say to a pissed-off vegan leftist without coming off all lame and confrontational? I like meat, beer, and porn, and I generally stay way the fuck away from politics and activism, well, quite frankly I just don’t care all that much. Read More
My full name is Sean Patrick Reilly, I like to claim that I’m 100% Irish, but I recently just stopped drinking so I’m not really sure if I am a true Irishmen anymore. I grew up in Hawaii on the island of Oahu in a town called Kailua. Kailua is best known for its beaches, Volcom stoners, and the E.W.O.K. Which stands for Easy Women Of Kailua. In Hawaii the age of consent is 16 years old, so its not uncommon to see some 23 year old bro chillin’ at high school parties with his hottie little girlfriend who has a huge algebra test on Monday. I’m not hating on it but like Rodrigo says, “For me it’s crazy like.” Read More
You know how things work. I’m just gonna ask you a bunch of stupid questions until we get something funny and then we’ll be done.
Cool. Okay then, let’s get the basic shit first. Where exactly do you live? And what shop to do you work at?
I grew up in Wheeling, Illinois and I work at SA Skateshop in Arlington Heights Illinois. My friend Rob owns the shop. On days I work all my friends come in and hang. You are sponsored by a completely different shop then you work at, why doesn’t SA sponsor you?
It’s really weird, I rode for SA since I was in eighth grade. I’ve always ridden for the shop and worked there since I was a kid. Rob, the owner, doesn’t skate though. I started skating with the owner of Rise and we all became really good friends. I was down with that whole crew from Rise and we all skate together. They sponsored me and Rob was cool with it. That’s what’s so cool about SA, Rob’s down with letting me ride for another shop even though I work for him. Read More
Story & Photos by Justin Keena
EVERYONE SAYS THEY HATE DRAMA, AND WITHOUT A DOUBT IF IT INVOLVES YOU OR THE PEOPLE CLOSE TO YOU, IT SUCKS, BUT DON’T EVEN TRY TO DENY THAT YOU LOVE TO SEE SOME SERIOUS DRAMA ACTION HAPPEN TO OTHER PEOPLE! DRAMA IS PROBABLY THE NUMBER ONE UNDERRATED GUILTY PLEASURE. I’M NOT SAYING I DON’T FEEL FOR THE PEOPLE INVOLVED, BUT DAMN, I’M JUST RELIEVED THAT IT DIDN’T HAPPEN TO ME. KNOW WHAT I MEAN? Read More
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