I received an email from Migdol this month containing Jonathan Yanez’s interview, with the instructions to “spice it up.” Great, that’s like having someone take a shit in your lap and then tell you to bake a pie. No matter how much sugar you mix in, it’s still a pie full of shit. That’s my job though, serving shit to people and convincing them it’s delicious. Bon appetite motherfuckers! Read More
A Man’s Best Friend...
DOGS WERE THE FIRST ANIMALS TO BE DOMESTICATED BY EARLY HUMANS. EARLY MAN RECOGNIZED THE BENEFITS OF HAVING DOGS AROUND TO WARN THEM OF PREDATORS AND APPROACHING STRANGERS THAT WANTED TO DO BAD THINGS TO THEM. TODAY WE CAN USE DOGS MUCH THE SAME WAY: ON LATE NIGHT SKATE SESSIONS IN A SKETCHY PARTS OF TOWN. BUT THE DOG HAS BECOME MUCH MORE TO US THAN A TOOL TO WARD OFF CRACK HEADS AND OVER ZEALOUS SECURITY GUARDS. DOGS HAVE BECOME OUR CONSTANT COMPANIONS. HERE WE TAKE A LOOK AT A FEW OF THE FURRY LITTLE FELLAS AND THE SKATERS THAT THEY CHILL WITH. Read More
AT THE TIME I WAS GIVEN THE ASSIGNMENT TO INTERVIEW MATT BRODE, I WAS MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF TAKING ON ANY TASK OF RELATIVE IMPORTANCE. THE TRUTH IS, I HADN’T LEFT MY HOUSE FOR SIX STRAIGHT DAYS. I SLEPT IN, ATE ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST, VIEWED THE FINEST OF INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY AND ATE PRESCRIPTION VICODIN LIKE THEY WERE LITTLE PEANUT FILLED M&M’S. MY GIRLFRIEND CALLED IT DEPRESSION. I CALLED IT A GENEROUS HELPING OF HEAVEN, UP UNTIL I HAD TO INTERVIEW MATT BRODE. Read More
The first thing Fat Mike said to me was something about pissing out his asshole. He had the shits. Had a cold, too; sounded like crap. I could sympathize, because my own sinuses have been manufacturing mucus with the unbridled enthusiasm and tenacity of a groupie in 1978 trying to show a jaded David Lee Roth something he’d never seen before. I told him I’d make it quick in case he needed to hit the shitter, and we were off. Read More
