I received an email from Migdol this month containing Jonathan Yanez’s interview, with the instructions to “spice it up.” Great, that’s like having someone take a shit in your lap and then tell you to bake a pie.  No matter how much sugar you mix in, it’s still a pie full of shit.  That’s my job though, serving shit to people and convincing them it’s delicious.  Bon appetite motherfuckers!
Actually I’m totally exaggerating, the interview wasn’t  that bad at all. But, Migdol says we’re over interviews now.  Great, he says that every month.  I can’t wait to see what cluster fuck he throws my way next.
Jonathan Peter Yanez is 17 years old and has a damaged penis.  His urethra (that’s your pee tube) was torn during a nose slide attempt on the Belmont rail. “It felt like I had to piss and I went to piss and I pissed blood, it felt like fire coming out.”  It happened to him when he was thirteen, which is kind of funny, since most people don’t have to deal with that particular problem before their sophomore year of college.

             But, that type of shit is why I refuse to skate handrails.  I love my wiener.  I tend to dote on it, and I make sure to tell it how special it is on a regular basis.  But, Jonathan evidently doesn’t believe in coddling one’s pecker.  In fact, he so often places himself in situations where permanent penile damage is a real possibility that I think there’s a good chance he may actually hate it.  He continues to skate handrails and just got a front blunt on the Wilshire 15 (pictured).

 Jonathan had to have a catheter in for 2 months after his first big rail accident, and he recently blew out his ankle trying to backlip some17 stair rail, three weeks before he was supposed to skate in the Tampa Am.  Those types of injuries can be real career killers, and it’s a wonder that Jonathan can still muster the courage to charge a big rail.  Apparently though, Jonathan can somehow clear his mind of all such thoughts before putting himself in a position that could potentially end his penis’s life. “Now when I skate a rail I block everything else out, no bad thoughts, just try and have a clear mind.” He says.  That’s some straight Zen-type shit there.

It’s possible he learned such insane focus under the watchful eye of Bill Dorr, the world’s oldest skater.  At eighty years old any fall is, for Bill, a potential hip breaker.  Too gnarly, the elderly tend to shatter like glass.

Jonathan skates the Pico Rivera park quite often.  Located in an area notorious for theft and violence he’s witnessed some pretty ugly behavior.  “I have seen a lot of fights, a guy got hit in the head with a skateboard truck, and there was a girl that got raped there by 13 dudes.  I wasn’t there when that happened.  I don’t want anything to do with that.  It was all over the news in LA.”

It’s good, being so injury-prone and living where he does, that Jonathan has other interests.  As, they say, “Idle hands do the Devil’s work.”  He’s a good artist, and has been working on honing his filming and editing techniques.  With one video already under his belt, called Fishizit, he’s off to a fine start.  Good call, because when you’ve already fucked yourself up so badly by the age of seventeen there’s a good chance you’ll be hobbling about like a broken hobo by the time you’re thirty.

Jonathan skates for Toy Machine (flow), Osiris (flow), Pig Wheels and Transitions Skateshop.  He wants to thank God, Sister, Parents, Buddy and Keisha at Transitions, Bill Dorr, Craig at Tum Yeto, Cong at Osiris, Jon Coulthard, Mike Kretovics all his homies and anyone else who’s helped him out.

Front Blunt to Fakie down the Wilshire 15. Balls completely intact.
Nollie Big Heelflip.
Front Blunt Shov-It.
Backside Flip through the brush.