Interview:Kendall Klopfenstein

I was surprised that Kevin actually answered his phone the first time I called him. What surprised me even more is that he had to call me back because he was “riding his scooter.” Who answers their phone while riding a scooter? Kevin does, only to tell you that he’ll call you right back, which he did. Riding a scooter kind of makes you a pussy, but the fact that Kevin’s gnarly enough to answer a cell phone in traffic minimizes the puss aspect of it all.

Dogs or Cats?
Dogs, dude.

You don’t prefer pussy?
Can I change my answer?

Working at a skateshop in the burbs, have you scored any MILF pussy?
Nothing to tell you about, her kid gets Automatic from the shop, and we can’t have jealous husbands, now can we?

Do you ever bail on big drops? Cause if you did, that’d make you a pussy.
I try not to puss out.

Cubs or White Sox?
Cubs, all the way. For sure.

Trick question, because baseball is for pussies. Let’s play fill in the blank:

Josie and the ___-cats:
Pussy.

___-willow:
Pussy.

Refraining from commitment: ___-footing:
Pussy.

An infected wound might be ____:
Huh? Oh, pussy.

Crust is good on pizza, not so good on ___:
Pussy.

Your favorite thing about your mother:
Her eyes.

Oh, Kevin’s good. Really good.