Photo: Macomber

Frontside Boardslide. Photo: Macomber.

Ollie. Photo: Bob Plumb.

Words by Dave Amador

All hail the king idiot from Salt Lake City. I’m sure you don’t know who this dude is and there is a good reason for that. He’s a pile of drunken stupidity. Not only is he adept at skateboarding he also is pretty good at peeing his pants. This was supposed to be an interview but numb nuts showed up too wasted to answer any of my questions. Instead I got a story of how he sharted his pants the day before and didn’t care enough to realize until today when he found crusty stuff in his drawers. What a shame, you would have really hated this guy had you heard what he had to say. He is the only person I know that can both speak baby talk and rap mindless rhymes for hours on end. He is pretty funny for about the first fifteen minutes but than it’s pure torment and annoyance. Let’s put it this way, if skateboarding were in the Special Olympics homey would be America’s Team Captain. If Depends adult diapers sponsored skaters, shit for brains would have a pro model.

All right with all that out of the way my good friend Sean Hadley a.k.a. “Dirty Hads” is seriously skilled on the wooden fun stick. He’s content skating a piece of cement that is ten foot by ten foot. Give him a park or an actual street to ride on and the kid goes nuts. Sean is pretty simple dude. He loves his family, his girlfriend, booze and his skateboard but not necessarily in that order.

Back to problem at hand, drinking problem that is. If Sean didn’t drink so much he could probably be a pretty successful industry-type skater but that’s pretty unsuccessful too in my book. I mean who wants to live on people’s couches and go to blown-out spots with all the cool guys. Not Sean, he would rather have his own place so he can pee in jugs off the side of his bed. Don’t invite him to your place either unless you like cleaning up other people’s messes. If you have white walls they’ll soon be covered with his dirty handprints. Sean cracked open my last beer the other day and when I tried to take back what was rightfully mine back he proceeded to shake it up and spill it all over my floor. If that wasn’t lame enough he started wallowing around on the floor to make sure it was extra lame. I guess that’s nothing a mop and hot water can’t fix. It was only a few minutes later that I get the word that while he and his girl were outside doing hell knows what, my neighbor threatened to call the cops. Maybe she was over reacting but I doubt it because I’ve never had a beef with her before. Either way the party was over.

Sean also enjoys being the life of the party by dancing around naked half erect, verbally bashing chicks and spitting logies on his dog and his parents’ furniture. All in the name of fun I guess. Thank God I don’t have kids of my own ‘cause if they did shit like that I’d beat them. Last good story, I invite Sean to go to the Phoenix Am Contest to check shit out. I also invite his buddy Panda thinking we could save on gas money. About an hour into the journey Sean tells me he only has three dollars to his name and Panda only has a bag of loose change (mostly pennies). Sweet bro, I don’t how these guys survived the six day trip or myself either. Let’s just say they like everybody else’s crumbs and half empties. Now Sean is 21 and has his own car so I expect a free ride whenever.

Sean never would have made it this far in skateboarding without the help of his shop sponsor Milo Sport, Rob Washburn at Bones and the filming of his friends E.J. and Mark White. I’m sure his parents have helped a lot too. If you want check out Sean’s stunts peep Thrasher’s Shotgun Video. Dick face shares a part with his homeboys Adam Dyet and Lizard King. He is the one with the runny nose and crusty white boogers.