Our good friends over at Hercules WAE or Wireless Audio Experience as they are known, recently sent us their newest WAE Bluetooth Speaker to test out.
The sound this little nugget produces is quite impressive. But we really wanted to test is its durability and ability to withstand the elements. For the speaker’s assessment we instructed our newest intern to stick the gadget on the end of a selfie stick and beat a homeless man while playing Ride of the Valkyries at full volume.
The selfie stick folded after only a few sharp swings at the man’s head but the WAE speaker held strong. Our only complaint is it’s rubber outer mold softened the blows. However this speaker wasn’t designed to be used as a punishment device so we’ll give that minor infraction a pass. If you really wanted to use it to torture vagrants you would have to modify it by affixing to it metal spikes or deep sea fishing weights. A task that would be rendered simple by using the WAE’s ¼” standard-size screw thread. I see no problem rigging all sorts of horrible things to the device. Though the included accessories were designed for you to attach the speaker to a bicycle or backpack they would satisfy a plethora of inventive ideas for the inclined.
The WAE delivers powerful, distortion-free sound. It kicks out tunes louder and clearer than speakers twice its size. It’s powerful sound comes in quite handy with our intended goal as we wanted to deliver our victim the total shock and awe experience. Imagine lying in a drunken stupor and awaking to hear Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries followed by swift blows to your face, neck, chest and head. This would be a most absolutely transformative experience for both the punisher and the sufferer.
The WAE boasts a whopping 12 hours of battery life, which is plenty of time for any kind of heated session. In conclusion the WAE is a very stylish, seriously rugged, great-sounding speaker. It would make a great companion for a hike, trip to the skatepark, or to induce fear and terror into hapless victims.