Don Nguyen | Issue 55

Shit Talk Corner with Don Nguyen

DON NGUYEN

Photo by Muska/Shad Lambert

Often the best shit talking sessions happen when 5 dudes are stuffed into a stinky team van. I figured we’d test this theory so I called Don Nguyen as he and the Split team were speeding across the country on their way to a demo. As you know, each issue we give one lucky fellow the opportunity to spew as much shit as they can about a few randomly chosen topics. The only rule being, they can say absolutely nothing positive about the topic what so ever.

DVDs

I hate lending DVDS to Justin Roy because when you get them back they willl all be scratched. That is If you even get them back. I’ve recently lent Justin like 10 DVDs and I’ve gotten one back and it was fucked, just totally useless.

Dental Floss

Dental Floss is the worst. It makes my gums bleed. Bleeding gums makes me feel really shitty about my life.

Aging Skateboarders
I hate it when skate dads bring the whole family to the skate park. You’re trying skate and he’s trying run a day care center in the flat bottom.

Hair
Hair is hot and fucking annoying in the summer. It’s in your face when you skate. It gets in your way when you eat PHO, Vietnamese soup. I almost died in my sleep once when I was choking on it. Short hair sucks too.

Monkeys

I’ve only had one encounter with a monkey in my life. It was in China and the motherfucker tried to steal my necklace. The others stole my cigarettes. You can’t trust monkeys.

360 Flips
These suck when you’ve been in the car for a while. You stop for gas and you’re all hyped to skate you try one and “Wham!” double shiner.

Toilet paper
Toilet paper sucks. It is never there when you need it the most. Also, why does it come in those tiny squares? The motherfuckers need to be in at least foot long sheets. What is the point of three inch by three inch squares? It’s pointless since you have to bunch that shit up anyway.

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