WE TOOK A LITTLE BREAK ON THE SHIT TALK CORNER LAST ISSUE BECAUSE, WELL, FRANKLY, NOBODY WANTED TO TALK ANY SHIT. LEGENDARY SAN JOSE LOCAL ED DEVERA CAME ALONG AND BUSTED OUT THE BEST HATING WE’VE SEEN IN A VERY LONG TIME. AS YOU KNOW, EACH ISSUE WE GIVE ONE LUCKY FELLOW THE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEW AS MUCH SHIT AS THEY CAN ABOUT A FEW RANDOMLY CHOSEN TOPICS. THE ONLY RULE BEING, THEY CAN SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING POSITIVE ABOUT THE TOPIC WHAT SO EVER.
I hate English, whenever I eat English style salt and vinegar chips its all tangy and I got to pucker my lips because it feels like I have batteries in my mouth. Also drinking your tea with your pinky up is gay.
Shit looks like gay skiers in spandex right next to the beach. They’re just stoked ‘cause they have some gay tea at home.
Has lot’s of roaches on their food and it makes me sick. Also ant’s like rice, so I always have black and red ants in my stomach. It’s like an ant farm down there. Plus they’re always talking keeping me awake at night.
Who the hell wants to skate in front of everyone and get judged? I hate performing for little kids who don’t give a fuck, just so some shop owner can hand out free pizza and I get to skate in the heat.
NOLLIE BIG SPINS
They’re whacky cause the birdman does nollie big spins and your trying to take that shit to the street.
I hate insurance, I got to pay monthly on something I’m never using. Skating keeps me healthy and I got the whitest teeth.
Too much work for some dead fish, like trying to eat some food off the table. [Editor’s Note: Don’t feel badly, we have no idea what this means either.]
Pop! I hate those things they give me headaches, like little firecrackers popping in my eye.
Front Feeble 270 Out | Sequence: Brian Shamanski