Words by Shawn Rylander. Photos by Brian Fick

So if you’ve never been to Texas before the only thing you probably know about Austin is it’s the home of Jake Nunn, Michael Sieben, and the Banana farm. All of this is true but with a couple of exceptions.  Jake and Sieben are always to busy with real skateboard jobs to drink beers all day like the rest of us. As far as the Banana Farm goes, it’s either under repair or Shannon absolutely will not let you skate it. Shit, that motherfucker turns the lights out on me when I’m skating it and I live there. That’s okay though because there’s a shit ton of spots to ride. There’s also a rad skate scene here. Oh yeah, did I mention the ladies? THEY’RE FUCKING AMAZING!

Rough Ron Up Ollie Over Curb and Straight Through the Trees into a Steep Sketchy Bank. Josh Brogan.

Now let’s get on the subject of Austin skate spots. We’re definitely spoiled here. Not only do we have more ditches than we can count but we also have ten or more backyard ramps. Both of these environments are perfect breeding grounds for cold brews and green shoes. That’s not including one of the best indoor skate parks in the great state of Texas, the Skatepark of Austin. We have a couple of cement parks, Mable, Davis and Lakeway, if you like kicking it with the “Yo Dog” street kids. If you’re in Austin for street skating there’s no short supply of ledges, rails, and big gaps. If you need a little help around town stop by Find n Grind skate shop and grab directions from One Punch Freddie. Be polite though or you’ll find out with quickness why they call him “One Punch.” You probably won’t have time to skate everything Austin has to offer. I’ve been here three years and I’m still finding new shit to ride. If you are strapped for time it is imperative you head out to Bastrop and hit up the Grinder Ledge pool. This spot has been around since the 70’s and is well worth the forty-minute drive.

Brandon Boehm Ollie Into The Poop Shoot

If you’re like me then the people you meet are just as interesting as the places you skate. Austin is no stranger to unique individuals. Some of the people I meet and skate with have the greatest nicknames and for good reason. For instance, my good friend Brian Rogers, A.K.A. Hockey Meat, got his nickname because he used to work at an actual hockey meat packing plant. They would let him take home the floor scraps everyday and he took full advantage of it. He had hockey meat BBQ’s at the Death Star ramp every other night for like 6 months. The thing about hockey meat is your not supposed to eat more than once or twice a year. It changes you. Needless to say, Hockey Meat is a fucking savage now and not just on his board. There’s also a guy here named Short Bus. The obvious answer to this nickname would be that the dude was a retard or a buffoon. Nope. He was actually hit by a short bus that was going about 40 miles an hour. He didn’t have any serious injuries to speak of but something was different. The next time that kid stepped onto his board he went on a rampage and he hasn’t stopped yet. I’ll take a short bus to the ribs to do back smiths like this kid.

Josh Brogan Gap To Crooks.

“What about the girls, Shawn? You said they were fucking amazing.” Yes Sir, I sure did. I was just saving the best for last. You probably know Austin is the home of the University of Texas. There are also three other major colleges in the area.  And of course that equals a shit load of beautiful girls. We also have a junior college, beauty schools and massage schools. That equals a bunch of girls who are super easy. But did you know we have a college for the blind? That’s right, GOLDMINE! Now being a skater I understand how hard it is to hook up with hot chicks. Sometimes when you’re in a slump you can’t even swing an easy girl, but a blind chick. Damn! It’s like stealing candy from a baby. If you still can’t seal the deal with a sweet blind girl you should try one of our hundreds of homeless ladies. They’re awesome about bringing their own booze.

Short Bus Feeble Grind At The Banana Farm

If you’re serious about visiting Austin but the pictures we provided didn’t give you enough to look at. I suggest you check out It’s an awesome local on-line zine that should keep you laughing till you find that sweet, easy, blind, homeless girl.

Brandon Boehm Gap to Lipslide


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  1. Where is this Poop Shoot Ditch?

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