Tampa AM 2007

Tampa AM 2007

Tampa AM 2007 Words by Jay Riggio

Tampa AM 2007 Words by Jay Riggio Photo by Deville

I’ve always dreamed of attending the Tampa Am Contest on a high profile magazine assignment. I’d arrive at the contest as a high profile industry correspondent, quick to secure myself on the unpredictable front lines of a real life skateboard battle. I’d be like Ernest Hemingway in his ballsy days as a Spanish Civil War reporter. But instead of mortars and shards of shrapnel blazing past my news-hungry head, there’d be unaccompanied boards and misdirected screams of excitement fired in every direction, as unknown amateurs devastate the course with mind altering trickery. While secured on the battlefield of Floridian soil, I would report all of my objective contest findings directly into a dirty, beer soaked tape recorder and a vodka warped notebook. With a wallet full of petty cash, a head occupied with street bought vicodin, and a heart filled with American skateboarding pride, I would commence to uncover the many underlying truths of the Tampa Am—truths that other skate writers have since tried wholeheartedly to capture, but in the end; failed miserably.

Tampa AM 2007 Sean Malto

Sean Malto Tampa AM 2007

While secured at a safe distance from any course danger, I would mix it up with my fellow skate journalists at the designated press table. We’d puff cigarettes, expensive cigars, play poker and drink scotch in between surveying the sweaty, dusty heats. Young, inexperienced riders would visit the press table after their runs, hoping to catch our attention so that we might give them the next large spread or interview. But as billowing tobacco smoke diminishes into the expansive humid air, we shun them away like drunken sailors who have no time for such petty new-jack bullshit. “We’re playing cards here!” one of us would shout at the silly amateur, followed by the rest of us chiming in with things like, “Yeah, go contemplate your run asshole!” We’ll all laugh together as we make fun of the little newbies questionable board sponsor. After drinking vodka and whisky straight, we’d swap tattered photographs of our loved ones back home while in agreement that Torey Pudwill will win the whole shit. So not to let on to the top ranking generals of the industry that I am going to expose every goddamned skateboarding secret that was never meant to be told, I will regularly excuse myself to the bathroom in order to record my in-depth and very controversial musings that under normal circumstances would never be published. Faking a lengthy beer shit, I’d speak quietly about the mass of atrocities that are plaguing this wonderful skateboard contest. Underage drinking, company expensed trips to Mons Venus (the best strip club ever), LSD use, unprotected sex and other appalling details of unchristian-like debauchery.

Tampa AM 2007 Sierra Fellers Nollie Bigspin Lipslide

Tampa AM 2007 Sierra Fellers servers up a Nollie Bigspin Lipslide

But this is just a dream of mine. I didn’t go to Tampa AM 2007. Instead, I stayed home, surfing the internet for free thumb nail pornography, texting girls I will most likely never lay, and eating shitty Mexican food. Sometimes dreams come true. But most of the time, they don’t.  I’ll be dead in a week.

Tampa AM 2007 Finalists

Tampa AM 2007 Finalists

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