The San Francisco Chronicles

San Francisco

San Francisco Chronicles

San Francisco Chronicles Photos By Dan Zaslavsky

I like living in San Francisco because there are a bunch of unique spots to skate. Instead of the same boring spots.  All it takes is a drive through the hills in residential neighborhoods and you can come up on spots all the time.  There’s a good vibe up here, not too hot, not to dry, good cronic.   There are a lot of lurkers around the certain spots though, like that spot Three Up Three Down, you don’t really want to skate there.   There’s a lot of guys all cranked out sitting on the steps talking to themselves.  The other day we were skating this church with marble stairs, the church had just been sold to an art school so all these people that had been going there their whole life were protesting.  This 90 year old lady grabs me and starts screaming at me, “get the hell out of here.”  She like stabbing me with her nails.   We didn’t say anything to her but this guy, says to us, right in front of her, “just wait until she is dead before you start dancing on her grave.” That was weird.

San Francisco Chronicles

One time I was on the train with my friends and there was this normal looking lady wearing a raincoat.  She looked like she was coming home from work.  She all of a sudden just started swearing at us.  She was just laying into us, making fun of us.  Picking out every one of our faults.  She was just going off on us for no reason, “You FUCKING DICKHEADS, YOU CUNT, why did your mother dress you like that, she’s probably some fucking bitch”.   I was so surprised.  She was just one of those crazy people you meet in San Francisco.  Dan, jeremy and I were in San Francisco driving down on market and 6 and some bum, talking to his 2 friends, took about 5 steps towards the curb on market and pulled his pants down then took a crackhead style shit. without wiping he went back over to his buddies and they all shared a  group hug. Nothing like bum love. 415, got love it.
San Francisco

Brian Delatorre Nollie Backside Shifty in San Francisco

Experience wise, San Francisco is great.  From the skating, to the ladies, to the weed, to the people, to the food, San Francisco has everything a skateboarder could ever wish for.  It’s got a lot of crackheads and crazy homeless people though.  Here’s a story, I woke up one morning and bombed Mission Hill.  Some crackhead hears me coming and he does like a like a karate kick right at my head as I roll by.  I get off my board, cause I was like hauling ass.  The dude was like,  “What the fucks your problem?”.  And I was like, “What?”.   This guy really wanted to fight me. I pick my board up, like I’m getting ready to swing it and the crazy son of a bitch is like “HIT ME!” He puts his hands down and is like, “HIT ME!”  And I was like, “Oh my god, you know I could kill you right now, you know that?” HE was like one of those suicidal guys.  And then he just starts swinging at me. There are a lot of violent crackheads out there.  Just everywhere. I’ve got some other shit but I’m about ready to smoke some weed so you think you could call me back in a little bit?

Robin Baker KickFlip San Francisco

Robin Baker KickFlip San Francisco

While Dan was shooting this Kickflip my board shot across the street to the apartment next door and I went to get it out of this little hallway and there this like 400 lb. lesbian chick on her break from her security guard job.  Her girlfriend was just waking up.  They were just like going at it right there in front of me.  She was on break and just tying to get a piece of ass before she has to go back to work watching some parking lot, or something. In San Francisco wherever you go and try to skate people are always distracting you.  There’s always all this random shit going on.  A lot of the spots are at people’s houses and you never know how they are gonna react.   Some people are like “Your fucking ruining my house” and other people are just loving it.  You just never know.  The cops in San Francisco are so unpredictable also. A lot of them are worried about more serious shit than skateboarding but others are just out to get you.

Wil Harmon back 180 sw fs crooks KickFlip San Francisco

Wil Harmon Backside 180 Switch Krooks: San Francisco

So there were like 4 of us at my friend’s house in the Tenderloin.  We decided to leave his house and skate downtown San Francisco. We bomb down Leavenworth, and run this light in front of a cop. He starts running after us, but its obvious he can’t catch us because he’s on foot and we are skating. So we see him radioing in as we skate past him, and at the bottom of the hill a cop car is there to greet us. We dodge left up a one-way street, jump off our boards and duck into a bar on the next corner. As soon as we enter the bar these Guardian Angel guys with red Berrets and Jackets grab us and yank us outside the bar. They had been listening to the whole thing on a police scanner! So the cops finally drove by the bar, and took our boards and gave us tickets.   Another time I was skating the Library with Kenny Reed, and his roommates Shawn and Kyle. We decided to leave to head downtown, and skated off towards the civic center. We were manualing down these small maunal pads near the civic center. Kenny was about 50 feet in front. Suddenly he skated by a cop, and the cop smacked him in the face, and pushed him off his board. I swear the cop hit him a few times. No one was sure what to do, go intervene, or just keep a safe distance. We could see the cop yelling at Kenny, and after a minute or so, Kenny got up off the ground and walked off. The cop walked away as well.  It put a bad taste in my mouth for the San Francisco PD.
danny fuenzalida San Francisco

I’ve got a funny San Francisco story that happened four years ago.  I used to live with Poncho Moler in the middle of Mission.  We were going to this Halloween party one time at Pat Duffy’s place. Duffy used to live in the Hunter’s Point area, a really ghetto area of San Fransisco.  Poncho used tell me that when he live there and he would get robbed everyday, like he couldn’t even walk down the street without getting shook down.  His pockets were always empty.  But we went to the neighborhood to go to this party and we dressed up like Rastas.  We painted ourselves completely black and had like dreadlocks on and Rasta hats.   At the end of the party we ended up not having a ride and it was like 5 in the morning.  We just started to walk back through this gnarly neighborhood, looking like we are making a mockery out of being black.   We were just about to get rolled and luckily, some guy who was leaving the party in a pickup and he picked us.  But that was just like super sketch, like, I don’t think I will ever be with midget, like, dressed black, in that neighborhood again.

Danny Goitmer San Francisco

Danny Goitmer Switch Tailslide. San Francisco

My friends and I had just got something to eat in the Tenderloin section of San Francisco, which is kind of a gnarly area in general, we were walking across the street and this woman just hunched over in the middle of the street and started to take a piss.  We were trying not to look but my one friend Mike, started laughing and she started screaming at him but she was like talking gibberish. She was all fucked up. The other thing about SF is that when I first moved here I immediately noticed there are so many dudes dressed as chicks.  We play this game when we’re driving down the street you have to point a block away and guess if it is a real woman or a dude dressed up like a chick.  There are some really gnarly looking chicks with stubble.







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